It's nearly midnight on the first day of the year. My family and I celebrated New Years Eve at home, watching a movie, playing cards, and the grand anti-climax of watching the ball drop in Times Square. I enjoyed it.
Tonight is my last day of freedom before returning to work, and I'm too wound up to sleep. Everything is crowding into my brain. In 2008 we expect to raise the majority of our financial support. How could that be possible. We want to put the house up for sale March 1, how will we get it ready to sell? How can it sell in this market?
I'm even jittery about going back to work tomorrow, because even though I'm doing well at work, my heart is in Ceske Budejovice where I belong. Even so, I'm a little worked up about coming potential cuts in our department (again).
How will I do as a missionary? How could an eccentric goofball like me ever do it?
So, all this is swirling around in my head when I would rather be sound asleep. It doesn't help that I've been battling a cold all week.
I'm not unhappy by any means, and I've been fighting back the doubts with the 23rd Psalm and meditations on the Lord, but I would rather just be asleep. I have no doubts whatsoever as to my calling, and I know that God will bring it all into place at the time He deems right. It's an exercises in faith that I'm glad to have. It's just not all that conducive to sleep.
Adam
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