Well, Marge and I were racing to be ready for the February Candidate Seminar at ABWE, but just recently have decided to wait until the Candidate Seminar that will be held this July. I'm disappointed, and a little frustrated. Part of the issue was that we really coulnd't afford to do any travel and pay for child care.
It never occured to me to ask for donations for something like that, and there isn't a rule book to tell you what kinds of things are o.k. to do.
At the same time, I have every confidence (and Marge does too), that it is the right choice. Our "Missionary Mobilzer" at ABWE also felt that it might be best. He, Don Trott, was thinking of our children. If we are at the July Candidate Seminar, it won't disrupt the children's schooling. It will also be cheaper for us as we can send the children off to visit family while we are gone. It will also give us time to pay off our credit card debt. I doubt very much that ABWE will appoint us as missionaries with Credit card debt. It also gives us more time to study for our oral doctrinal exam.
It felt like a crash, as I was eager to discover where God would be sending us and the work that He had set aside for us to do. If we had gone to the February Candidate Seminar, would could have started raising support in March. Everything seemed to moving very fast, and I believe God is slowing things down for a reason.
"O Lord, though has searched me, and known me. Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my though afar off. Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways." Paslm 139: 1-3 (King James Translation)
I believe God is sovereign, and that He really does have a plan for us. He knows that we have been delayed, and this was not outside of his control. Rather, I think, that He is working in the circumstances in order to re-shape us, and make us more like Jesus. Being more like Jesus is to my benefit, and also brings God glory and pleasure.
I'm still a little confused. I believe that God has some unique things for us to do, but it's not clear to me right now. It's quite difficult for me to wait and pray. I tend to either do or freeze. God used Paslm 139 to shift my thinking and build my trust.
"Thou compassest my path and my lying down . . ."
A lot of people prefer the newer translations of scripture, but the old translation is what I grew up with and it is that to which my heart returns. It isn't really difficult to understand: The Lord has my path surrounded and surrounds me even when I am asleep. The scripture doesn't even say that I am supposed to ask for God's protection, it is something that He does.
Paslm 139 goes on to talk about God's exhaustive knowledge of me and his everpresent spirit. I am never alone. He never leaves me. Since I know that God is absolutely loving, absolutely wise, and absolutely holy, I know that the Lord will do what is best for me and His glory.
I want God's best. I want to willingly submit to His timing and trust His will.
Thanks for reading about the struggle.
Keep the Parmenter's in your prayers.
Adam
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