Powerless

It's about 4am and I've been awake for about an hour.

When I'm awake in the night (doesn't happen often). I try and pray for people. It's better than fretting. That worked for about thirty min. I prayed for all sorts of people and worshiped God, it was cool. I still couldn't sleap so I did a little Bible study.

I'm still awake, so I decided to get up and write.

There is so much changing right now. The clock is ticking on my job. My last day will be around 22-October. I'll have enough severence pay to keep us part way into next year, but leaving my job at Pfizer is a big change. It's unnerving to be at work and feel the days drawing to a close. It makes me tense.

As I paint the trim and get ready for the carpet, I sense the clock ticking on putting our house up for sale. I wanted to have it up for sale this summer, but it won't be until Jan 09. Even so, do I really fee like moving? No. In one sense I would love for everything to stay the way that it has been. The changes are unsettling.

I'm thinking about my dad a lot too. He had his leg amputated and is recovering in a nursing home. He's acting confused about why he is there and why he can't leave. It's difficult to watch my once strong, self sufficient father week and helplessly lying in a nursing home. I never realised how much of my confidence in life is based on my earthly father. That confidence has been shaken to the core, and I must transfer my confidence to my heavenly father.

It makes focussing on missions preparations tougher, but we are continuing to keep at it.

Thankfully, all of this has driven me to prayer. For that I am thankful.

Adam