Tick, Tick, Tick

22-October-2008.

I'm getting layed-off from Pfizer. Not a temp thing. This is a termination due to company cost cutting. My last day is supposed to be 22-Oct-2008. I've written all of my remaining tasks/projects on my white board. I have six things left. One of them will take me weeks to complete.

With each task that I check off of the white board, I feel a little more tense. I have moments of peace, and trust. . . excitement over what comes next, and the sense that I have lately of a growing and deepening relationship with God.

Even so, the familiar is comfortable.

At home I am making some repairs and updates so that we can put our house up for sale. Each piece of trim that I paint and repair that I make, I can sense the clock tick some more.

It's like racing toward the edge of a cliff. I'm one of those base jumpers who parachute off of stationary objects like cliffs or buildings. I would have trained for it extensively, and would want to do it (no one forces a person to base jump), but the first jump would scare me silly.

Leaving my job, selling the house, living some place temporarily between then, trying to raise support. No guarantees that we will be able to raise support. No guarantees of anything.

Yet, I know that God has the end in mind. God is already aware of the steps, the milestones, and the ending. There's no reason to doubt. I do though, and it forces me to prayer and to struggle to exercises greater trust.

I'm making progress.

Adam